Spread it and eat it... be it jam, butter or legs.

9 months

2010-06-02T08:30:00.002+08:00

I could've given birth to a baby in all this time that I haven't blogged.

In these 9 months I've

been working at House
Finished a year (and a month) at House
Obtained a dream job at a marketing research firm called Acorn
Rebonded my hair
Have not cut it in these 9 months, not even a trim
Let my fringe grow out and will probably cut some sort of fringe before work starts
Gained weight. Fucking fantastic.

So. I got a new job. I'm psyched. Marketing Research is pretty much a dream job for me - it will NOT be easy, it will be tough, it will be gruelling, it will take long hours, I will have to come back some weekends (to conduct focus groups and whatnot).

HOWEVER.

I've wanted to do MR ever since I was in uni - I just thought that you need super excellent grades in order to work in an MR firm. Iska actually told me to try it out because he recently joined, and he prepped me that it was gonna be hella hard work... which Im totally prepared to do anyway. I've had a cushy job for a year, and I NEED to start working hard and challenging myself.

I'm so excited because MR is actually cerebrally (is there such a word? Oh, the irony) challenging job. It's mentally-provoking and that's what I love about it. Fuck you, Marketing. Fuck you, Advertising. Fuck you, all the world's jobs that think you actually use your brain but really don't.

I guess I'm just being smug. I haven't started the job yet so I suppose Iska and the Senior Researcher I'm attached to (her name is Elaine) can tell me what life in MR will be like but beyond the fact that I know it ain't gonna be easy, I have no idea what it'll truly be like until I start the job. Like, actually DOING the job, I mean.

One small thing that I am sorta dreading but which I feel I need to take the plunge is CORPORATE WEAR omg corporate wear like pants and proper shoes and no more casual comfortable clothing GOODBYE COMFORT AND JOY hello nasty heels everyday and stiff shirts sighhhhhhhhh.

All part of growing up, I suppose.

When I went for the interview and to sign my appointment letter, the girls there pretty much seemed to wear pants and shirts. Or at least pants. I saw ONE girl with a dress. Iska himself told me that the ladies there seem to favour pants. (He, himself, wears proper pants and cufflinks. But that's just boys- they don't have a choice. It's not like they have an alternative to pants and shirts.)

I suppose I'll see when I get there. There SHOULD be wiggle room for dresses at least.

My only issue is close-toed shoes. Gawd. I can NEVER EVER EVER EVER find a pair that fits, or that doesn't cut devil blisters into my archilles tendon. It's all very pretty, I can assure you.

Okay. Time for work. I have exactly 11 days to serve at House, I'll get 14 days break, and then I'll start work at Acorn.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Some bike riding

2009-09-07T22:31:00.000+08:00

I toy with the idea of learning to ride a bike, only so that I don't waste about 2 and a 1/2 hours just travelling to and from work.

TWO AND A HALF BLOODY HOURS FROM MONDAY TO FRIDAY, MAN. That's like 50 hours in one month. I waste more than 2 days each month on fucking travelling time. FUCK.

And seriously.. taking a bus then a train and all that walking in between in just so draining. You don't realise how draining it is until you get fetched to work and you wonder why you're so much more refreshed. That's because 1) you don't have to wake up earlier 2) you're sitting there for all of 30mins or less while making your way to work in a car 3) you aren't expanding additional energy walking around and then queuing up and standing because you don't get a seat on the bus AND the train and moshing and squeezing with people.

You're essentially walking or standing around for least more than an hour each day. POINTLESSLY walking or standing around, I might add, because you aren't really standing there because you want to or because you have a major objective to achieve. You're just standing there because there isn't a seat and you need to get to work.

I imagine that if I had a bike it'd be cheap transport, and I can rush to work if I want, and I would do SO much less pointless walking in a day.

I would also probably die because even if I weren't a reckless rider, there'd always be reckless car or truck or lorry drivers who could just accidentally smack you down on a bad day, or simply because they didn't see you.

Ugh. Depressing. Bikes - cheap and deadly, and not even by your own hand.

How The Mighty Fall

2009-08-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

Stop being so fucking unprofessional and tactless. It's very unbecoming, especially for a man of your 'supposed calibre'. Earn it, not 'just because'. Ugh.

Note to self - Purchase book 'How The Mighty Fall: And Why Some Companies never Give In' by Jim Collins. (I didn't get a chance to finish the book as it belongs to Sean and he's flying off.) 29 pages in and it's an interesting, insightful read. And those are just some of the good reasons I should buy it, borrow it, or steal it, and then finish the book, all the while giggling madly to myself.

I don't wanna dislike you man

2009-08-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

Please don't make me hate you. I want to like you, I really do, but you're making it a weeeeee bitttt eensy weensy eeny meeny miney mo difficult. Please stop power tripping kthxbai2u.

Hey Jesus Jesus Hey

2009-08-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

When I think about it, I really just get bloody damn fucking annoyed. I won't say 'pissed', because that would denote that I give too much of a damn about it, and the fact is, I shouldn't. God. Seriously. Some fucking people should just grow up, or have their momma give them some EQ, or take a fucking training seminar, or something. Jesus fucking christ.

Boardgame Night

2009-08-15T10:54:00.005+08:00

Boardgame Night with Jon, Cheeyang and Salman last night. Wicked fun! We pretty much spazzed out. I swore alot, but it was a fun kind of swearing, not like a I Hate Your Mom and You Too kind of swearing.

Also, I had too much to drink towards the end and couldn't play no more but just sit there in my beer-induced haze and laugh like a complete spaz at the guys and the sheer retardedness of it all.

"Make your big toes talk to each other about potato chips."

p.s. Play Flapdoodle again!

There's too much distrust and unworthiness in the world these days, and it's always a good thing to meet new people and know that they're nice, or cool to hang out with, and everything's fine and dandy and peachy.

Note to self

2009-08-11T14:54:00.002+08:00

For the sake of posterity and future cussing opportunities, do keep this in mind:

"asshole" and "cockweasel" and "fuckcamel" and "cuntwaffle" and "shitglutton" and "porksword" and "wangbasket" and "shitwhistle" and "thundercunt" and "fartminge" and "shitflannel" and "knobgoblin" and "boring."

Yes, after everything is said and done, please remember to call the fucker 'boring'. A climax has to end SOMEwhere, after all. (Most guys would nod emphatically and agree vehemently to this statement.)

Wait kthxbai

2009-08-10T22:39:00.001+08:00

I don't mind waiting sometimes. I just don't like waiting all the time.

Put that record on

2009-08-09T23:06:00.003+08:00

I would so totally be an awesome DJ!

Mainly because:
1) I'm so jolly, entertaining, witty and I have a SPARKLINGGGGGG personality
2)I'm so damn good at talking to the air as if I'm addressing someone in an engaging, stimulating conversation

I could just talk to myself (or an imaginary you) for hours and hours! Exhaustive, but infinitely possible, my (imaginary or not) friend.

The last time I ever said anything

2009-08-09T00:30:00.004+08:00

The last time I wrote was on June 27th? Damn, that's almost two months ago.

I suppose if I started writing (and I very nearly said 'wroting' instead of 'writing' - time does things to a person) about everything that I've been up to the past two months I would be forced to cause my weak, ailing, contemptible memory to break down and fall into the void for all eternity.

So let's not go there. Trying to remember TOO hard, that is.

So all I can say in as general terms as possible is that Sean returned in one piece, there was a piece of turquoise, there were countless dvds, many stayovers, a fuckload of movies, a little twigman keychain, the meeting of new party people, the cancellation of my WoW subscription (ends 25th August), my current job and its convolutions and ramifications, the great enjoyment I have gotten from spending the money earned from my job, thoughts of wanting to go overseas (somewhere, anywhere) with (somebody, nobody) just for a change in scenery, and being in a constant state (and process, I suppose) of self-realization.

At times, when people question who I am, or my principles, and I start thinking about it... I'm just like, "This is it. This is really me." There is no other way to say it. Sure, I believe that in time, with more experience(s) and varying environments, I might change. But my foundation? It's pretty much set. I'm broken in like a housedog who's learned to take a shit on the lawn and only on the lawn. Woof.

Now that I think about it again, A LOT of things have happened. But now that those incidents have faded away into obscurity (which is why I didn't remember them til now), and so have the people, and it all isn't even a blip on the radar anymore.

Tiresome, detestable people will always come into our lives, and it's up to ourselves to ensure that they either stay out of our lives or depart in good haste. I will not tolerate such utter rubbish in my life, honestly. If you aren't deserving of my attention (and I mean this in no egotistical way whatsoever), I really won't bother with you. All this I refer to as only the people close to me, because I can help who I am close to, even if I can't always help who the auxillary folks in my life are.

At the end of the day, you are who you associate yourself with. Like calls to like, after all. And I read somewhere that you're the average of the 5 people you hang out the most with. If that's true, I feel incredibly proud indeed. Thinking about the people I am close to and the people I care alot about really makes me glad that I have these people in my life. And as trivial and as flippantly simple it all sounds, I completely mean it.

If someone seems too good to be true, don't dismiss it - they really just might turn out to be that fucking awesome. Give everyone a chance... and if they fail that chance, they can just jolly well fuck off because they just aren't worth your time.

Neil Gaiman talks about love

2009-08-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

- Neil Gaiman

True. But it certainly doesn't encourage me from finding love and trying to stay in it ♥

Love and its losses

2009-06-27T17:21:00.004+08:00

"You can stay up all night and still not count all the ways to lose the people you love."

True love is felonious:
"You take someone's breath away.
You rob them of the ability to utter a single word.
You steal a heart."

Was that a THREAT, Ma'am?

2009-06-19T11:30:00.001+08:00

Guard to woman, as metal detector beeps at her: Please step over here, ma'am.

Woman: I don't carry sharp objects on me...except my wit.

Guard: Please.

♥ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCKING FUNNY SHIT! ♥

Excuses, excuses

2009-06-05T20:06:00.003+08:00

Don't you HATE it when people say they don't wanna do something with you, then give the excuse that it's for your own good when in reality they just don't want to go?

1. "Let's go to XX mall!"
2. "Uhhh.. mmmm.. hmmm.."
1. "What?"
2. "I don't know, this mall's parking is bad on weekends."
1. "Can find parking one what."
2. "What do you want to do at XX mall?" (thereby giving you a glimmer of hope that you guys will be going after all)
1. "Eat chinese food, catch a movie, whatever la."
2. "Ahh.. hmmm.. mmm.."
1. - silence -
2. "Think better don't go la. We go another day. Anyway you sick so we go also you cannot enjoy your food. Also, H1N1 virus ah.. if we go watch movie.."
1. - silence - (because there's no point even bothering to put up an argument with such a silly excuse. You'd essentially be forcing the person to go, so why even fucking bother?)

This happens more often than I'd like. In this case, it was my mom.

Hello again

2009-06-04T21:02:00.004+08:00

It's been a while, hasn't it. Blame twitter and its readily available service of updating my life (within the boundaries of 160 characters, of course) pretty much anytime. 160 characters lets you say alot, most of the time, unless you're all introspective and shit.

I'm ill. Been ill for awhile now. Sore throats, which have graduated to sniffles, and then worked its way up to headaches and bodyaches, followed by the joy of some fevers and finally, fucking laryngitis.

I always get fucking laryngitis. I mean, jeez, seriously.

I was at Borders earlier looking to buy a book by Amy Tan (ANY book by Amy Tan) but it cost like, $30? I'm like, reading leisure doesn't come cheap huh, not even with the advent of the fucking interwebz. So I wa sstanding there, knowing I wasn't gonna buy the book, and I felt the floor shaking. I'm like, shit is it the floor or is it ME? And I moved to the left and I still felt the shaking and I honestly could not tell if it was my feet trembling or the floor shaking. I started making my way to the train station.

I still don't know if it was the floor or me.

I don't want to take an MC because 1) I'm still on probation and regardless of the fact that I am genuinely ill, I don't like to be seen as weak/slacking off. And actually that's really the main reason. The secondary minor reason is that I don't get compensated as I'm still on probation, but I really don't give a shit about that as much as the first reason. I just finished my first month of work and I take an MC?! How fucking weak is that?! Ugh. It disgusts me. I refuse to do it.

And besides, I'm not toppling over or fainting yet, or even remotely close to dying. People take MCs too often now. It's a luxury, isn't it? As long as you're a paying customer I'll give you an MC, the doctor said.

Chung kindly allowed me to leave 30mins earlier in order for me to visit my family doctor. He's great. Cool guy. Cool beans. I think I'm lucky to have a boss who's understanding and cool, yet is still professional.

I would like to be cuddled. It's nice coming home to a bed you can call your own and in which you can roll around in like you're a fucking hippie in a field of weed in the 1960's (or something) but truth is it's nice to be cuddled and kissed and loved... and I don't get any of that during the week because our hours are just impossible.

It makes me a little bit sad but hey girl, suck it up, this is life, keep on walking like fucking Johnny.

Scum

2009-05-17T17:59:00.005+08:00

Smme people are really just dead pathetic. They should really look in the mirror before even judging others. but it won't matter because in the mirror, all they'll see is their massive ego - how good they look, how much money they're making, how 'successful' they are, how everyone wants them.

When it really is all completely false, it's just that their massive ego prevents them from seeing the truth.

Sad? Yes. Utterly pathetic? Yes. Disgusting? Yes. Fuckbag? Yes. Completely untrustworthy? Yes. Not worth anyone's time? Yes. Real slimebag? Yes. Most of all - the most fucking ungrateful person I have ever known? A resolute YES.

That's why I'm no longer friends with them.

And really, 'them' is just one person. He thinks he's bigger than everyone else. Right now, he's the most pathetic excuse for a human being that I currently know. Everyone else that I have ever disliked, pitied, been annoyed with... all of them are angels compared to him. And this guy doesn't even know HALF the truth of what's happening. He just thinks he's in the right. And such an ingrate! How can anyone like this even think he's half the god he reckons he is?

Fucking scum, that's what he is. I might be tempted to spit him on him in the face if I ever see him again.

11 hours from now...

2009-05-04T22:18:00.004+08:00

... I will be sitting in an office at Shaw, doing work things and being all busy. Lol. And 3 days later, I'll still be sitting in an office, just that it'll be at Dempsey. Kum was so sweet she said that if I decided to pack my lunch to work, she'd buy me a Hello Kitty lunchbox hahaha.

I'm a bit nervous, only because I don't know what the job will be like exactly, and I don't want to go there and be completely failzors at it. But! I have no doubt I'll pick things up relatively quickly (so confident of my smarts, eh?) so onwards we go!

Also, Chung (Assistant Managing Director) said that the dress code for work is 'smart-casual-quirky' (only because I asked him what the dress code for work was lol), so I'm hoping this means that I won't have to dress like an office drone for the next year or so. To be honest, I saw the staff there dressed either in stylish clothes or in relatively slack clothes.. nobody was in strict shirt-pants-skirt-blazer-tie. Except Chung la. Haha.

This is my 'last chance freedom' before work begins. I only call it that because after this, I'll officially be in the workforce, and even though I'll have my weekends, it won't be the same as knowing that you won't have work the next day, week or month. I do hope most of my weekends will be kept free of work.

Gonna be watching Spirited Away now. Thanks to Larry's assistance I'll get to watch it online! And I'm gonna watch it, get emo, then fall asleep. Or fall asleep while watching it, then wake up and be emo. Potayto, potahto.

HELLO, WORLD! I AM AN ADULT NOW! AT 24! WORKING TOMORROW LEH! SO KEWLZ!

20 years from now

2009-05-04T08:28:00.003+08:00

I am slightly terrified that 20 years from now I'm gonna be waking up in cold sweat in my bed, asking myself, "What the FUCK am I doing with my life and how did I end up here??!!!" and then proceed to swallow 50 sleeping pills without choking on them first.

Try not to regret TOO much in life later, Maddie.

'Take it as it comes?' 'Accept life as it is?'
Fuck that.

Always (at least try and) fight for what you want,

Herve Leger

2009-04-30T10:07:00.004+08:00

Everyone loves couture. Because it's so haute (hot.. geddit??).

I just merrily lol'ed to myself.

Okay, couture aside, most people like fashion, at least to a certain extent, even if you AREN'T a brand whore. And now, I must declare that:

I FUCKING LOVE HERVE LEGER OMG I WOULD DIE! DIE! DIE!!! TO OWN THOSE DRESSES. THOSE DRESSES FUCKING KILL ME!!!! KILLLLL ME!!!!!

They're so fucking fantastic and amazing and and and and and I love them. LOVE THEM!!!! I would lose a ton of wight to wear them. (But that's not really saying much because, then again, I'd like to lose weight to wear nicer clothes in general)

Now I'd like to think I'm no longer as materialistic as I once was because being broke has forced me to be a recessionista for the past year or so, and being frugal is really the icing on the fucking cake. But damnit you guys, I really do fucking love EVERYTHING the brand puts out! Hell, they could smear piss on a dress and I'd still fucking wear it!

I OFFICIALLY HEART HERVE LEGER FOR LIFE. Or at least until I get bored. It'll take awhile.

Goodbye Sean

2009-04-30T09:04:00.002+08:00

So. Sean is leaving. I'm definitely some kinda sad. Partly because he'll be gone again, but really mostly because I know the nature of his trip isn't a regular undertaking of any sort. Not regular at all, mister. But it need to be done and so it will be done and it is going to be done.

Commendable: to me, and to people who really know (but that's only a rare few).

He'll be back in 3 months. Looking forward to that return already for future binks.

I should go back to sleep, I've only had 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I don't feel that fucked up though, even though I am motherfucking full and I don't intend to eat anything the rest if the day unless I wanna either a) puke my guts out or 2) have some serious heartburn. And by heartburn I really mean a heart attack.

Goodnight world (at 9am).

Oh noes

2009-04-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

oh my god.

Maybe I'm obese and I don't even know it.

Please proceed to Counter 4 and FREAK THE FUCK OUT.

Learning disabilities, and all that

2009-04-27T18:57:00.000+08:00

"You don't have a learning disability, you're just lazy."

"Maybe that's the SYNDROME!!"

Freedom: T - 7 days

2009-04-27T17:10:00.002+08:00

OMG ONE MORE WEEK OF FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!

HOLY FUCKING CRAP!

Don't be a hater

2009-04-23T16:37:00.003+08:00

People who hate the country they were born and bred in make me sick.

Like Singaporeans who hate Singapore. Their reasons are so shallow most times.

They think that the Singapore Government is too authoritarian or totalitarian. They have limited options, limited freedom. The people here suck too much for them. The lack of freedom of speech or the controlled manner in which the news is reported here is crap to them. BEing politically-restrained is so much to handle, they can't take it.

Think about this in context, please. You wanna move to another Asian country? Sure, one that doesn't provide the same level of security or stability as Singapore. You wanna move to an ang moh country? Ditto the reasons above, or feeling like a second-class citizen, or just basically constantly having that underlying feeling that you're alone - a minority race in a country that you weren't brought up in.

Sure, this country has its flaws. But compared to other countries? We're doing pretty damn well. And if you don't like the people here, well, shit. Go like some other country's people then and suck their cocks, because we sure as hell don't want you here either you fucking cocksuckers.

I really cannot be bothered to go into a lengthy tirade about why Singapore is 'better' or 'worse' than other countries. But if you hate Singapore, you lack the very fundamental basics of a thing called tolerance. You're fickle, and you can't appreciate what you've got. You're the kid who was fed the silver spoon and now you want a golden spoon and an army of feeders along with it. You disgust me.

I had an invite to join this group on facebook: Singapore Sucks! and it's what got me going. I declined the invite, naturally, and also resisted the urge to delete the person from my list of 'friends'. (Actually maybe I should just delete this person, I don't care very much for him anyway.)

But it's nice to know that there're still people standing up for this tiny country of ours. On that group's wall, people were heartily defending Singapore.. with legitimate reasons, and not so much "YOU SUCK COS YOU THINK SINGAPORE SUCKS!" It's nice to know the rigid level of education the government has plied on us has come to SOME use.

And even then, there're still people out there who can't spell, or write, or think for shit. So if you wanna blame the government for a very unhappy childhood, go ahead and continue being illiterate, or unhappy, or demoralized, because this country simply taught you that life isn't all peaches and cream, baby.

Future (unused) joys

2009-04-20T20:43:00.002+08:00

I am gonna buy so much motherfucking makeup when I get my first paycheck. (I'll probably end up not really using the makeup because I have so much already jesus christ.) It has been SO long since I've freely bought ANYthing without feeling the pinch.

Some clothes, shoes and bags would be nice too =) <-- I'm beaming, see? That's a beaming smile.

GOOD LORD I JUST WANNA BUY THINGS (and consequently get over wanting to buy things after buying those things) AND BE LIKE, HEY BITCHES I CAN AFFORD THIS AND THE WORLD IS GOOOOOD HELLLLL YEAHHHHHHH!!

I'm getting paid

2009-04-20T16:34:00.004+08:00

My final exam ended on the 6th of April. And now, exactly 2 weeks later on the 20th of April, I've just been confirmed a job. I commence work on the 5th of May.

I'm psyched!! omg. I'm only a bit worried about being able to get there because the office is shifting from Shaw to Dempsey Hill on the 8th (or around there).

I ADORE long travelling times - not.

Thank you for tonight

2009-04-18T05:47:00.010+08:00

I thank everyone for tonight.. for bothering to turn up, or for bothering to wish me a happy birthday, or both. Every small action adds up to something big in my hearttttt.

[Listening to Spirited Away's theme song as I type this.. how emo.]

Thank you. For everything.

Song (for the wonderful-wonderful dinner.. it was unexpected and just really so generous. And for coming down to Butter too), Euge (for coming down to Butter as well!), Ming, Amanda, Kum, Terry, Alex (Sean's bro - thanks for being so awesome), Geks, Siddums, Peter (the chocolates were very nice and unexpected too), Mel Faith, Nate, Kenneth, Alexander, Sid, Bernice, Cash, Judy, Rachel Maria, Edison, Larry, Phil, Randy, and every miscellaneous stranger who wished me well. (And the people on facebook too.. ahahaha.)

And of course the man of the night, the twinny4life, Sean. Tonight wouldn't have happened at all if it weren't for him. He made me cry tonight, but it was tears of heart-touchedness.

Goddamn it I will miss him when he's gone. (Still listening to Spirited Away and feeling even more sad now.. damnit.) Sigh.

Happy Birthday to me, and everyone who made it memorable. I love you guys. Much love, and I gotta say, it's a damn fucking great feeling to have friends. xoxo.

Spirited Away

2009-04-17T09:26:00.005+08:00

I watched the move like 5 consecutive times when I finally caught it a long time after it came out. I cried during the movie. Gawd. How weepy. But really nothing, absolutely nothing beats the capability this movie has to wrench tears from your eyes.

And now because I came across the below music, I need to watch this movie again. Now. Or buy it. Or get the soundtrack. Or both. I hope I get a job soon so that I can get both.

The music is just so awesome because personally, I have a fucking difficult time remembering details of movies, or the music that was in them. But for Spirited Away, hearing these songs always strikes a chord in me, and even if I don't remember exactly which part of the movie the music was from, at least I know it was from the movie. LOL.

And honestly? Sadness pours from these songs. If you haven't watched the movie and you think I'm spouting utter bullshit, then how about you go back to your hole and stick yourself in there for the next millenia, because you can't be judgin' when you don't be knowin'.

On a completely unrelated note, I hope somebody brings their camera tonight.

Interview today

2009-04-16T20:38:00.004+08:00

My interview today went relatively well, I think. Chong/Chung (if I spelled it right) was nice enough. Professional, that I can say.

It also lasted more than 2 hours. Fel said she thinks he wouldn't have spoken to me for so long if he wasn't (at least) slightly interested. Makes sense, but she didn't say more as she didn't want to jinx it hahahaha. I really can't say I did extremely well, or that I'm very confident about it. I don't want to jinx it too, and also, I really don't feel like I wasn't a superb applicant or anything lol.

But I definitely did okay. We'll see on Monday or Tuesday.

How do people emerge extremely confident from interviews, thinking that they've 'aced it'?
1) They don't know who the other applicants are.. maybe the other applicants were more qualified than they were.
2) They may have gotten a good response from the interviewer, but how do they know that the interviewer didn't give other applicants an eve better response?

Conclusion: Stay low and just wait for the good news.

Birthday's in a day or so. I'm fat, I have ugly tanlines, I wish I had more stuff (like clothes and shoes) and I'm broke.

Here's to a better, richer birthday next year.

2009-04-16T02:31:00.001+08:00

Um. Where the fuck are my Interview pants? If possible, I'd like to go for my interview with some pants, please.

Some pants

2009-04-15T00:50:00.000+08:00

I'm so fat now. I hope I'll be able to fit into my Interview Pants.

Anticipation

2009-04-14T19:37:00.000+08:00

I gotta say, I'm kinda psyched about getting a new job. Actually, I'm really quite fucking psyched! PSYCHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's to the rest of my life.

Burnt & peeling

2009-04-13T21:42:00.002+08:00

I got sunburnt in Tanjung Pinang. Me, the Somalian kid, got burnt. Now my nose is peeling. I'm moisturizing best as I can to prevent my body from peeling too. UGH. It's itchy.. not a good sign.

I'm hoping to even out my tan before Friday/Saturday.. if that's even possible. My tanlines are dark and are the shape of my tank top. Now I look like I'm permanently wearing a pale, skin-coloured tank top.. except that my tank top has nipples.

Please don't let me be a disgusting peeling wreck on my birthday. Thanks.

2:02 onwards

2009-04-08T23:30:00.001+08:00

It's NEW again!

2009-04-08T21:46:00.003+08:00

Anddddd I got my old template back! Thank god because I thought I'd be stuck with some crappy ass motherfucking blogskin that was so disgusting I'd puke all over my keyboard everytime I looked at the blog.

Anyways, my last exam was on Monday. And it hasn't really sunk in yet that I am, like, FREE FOR LIFE. Well... until I turn into an office drone la. Really looking to that, by the way. I hope I'll find a job I won't hate. I haven't hated a job yet (maybe only strongly disliked) but honestly speaking?...

I really am kinda psyched about finding a job and earning money like a grown up adult and wear lipstick and heels and have big hair (oh I already have that). Yeah yeah I know the economy is shit and it's hard to find a good paying job or even a job you like and it's idealistic but hey, baby steps right honey?

O'll be dusting off my resume because MAN IT IS HELLA DUSTY! Because the last few jobs I've taken I haven't had to show my resume due to my diligent, responsible personality (eh? wtf?).. HAHAHAHA. No but really. They didn't require me to gove them a resume so I was all peaches and cream. But now that I'm all graduatey and adulty and stuff I'm gonna need to magiclean that old resume of mine and make it nice and shiny again.. JUST LIKE ME! I'm NICE AND SHINY! PICK ME!

(Wow I still can't believe I've graduated. Like, fucking finally guys. I know alot of people who have but in my social circle right now I'm one of the first and it feels slightly odd that I'm actually free from the reigns of education.. for now. Nyeh nyeh can't catch me stoopid guvmen!)

The birthday's next week. I forgot about it til Sean mentioned it. It's handy sometimes having a good mate who shares the same birthday as you. LAWLZZZZZ.

Maddie, out.

Thriller @ butter

2009-04-04T21:18:00.002+08:00

I am so fucking sad that I can't make it to Thriller tonight. I was looking forward to it for so many weeks, listening to the promo and everything. IF ANYONE WHO CAN'T APPRECIATE THRILLER GOES TO BUTTER TONIGHT (and then proceeds to bitch about it) I WILL SLAP THEM. I REALLY WILL. Fucking undeserving motherfuckers.

DJ Inquisitive talked to me on fb earlier today and it's so weird, we actually know each other. From a long time back.. Kream days (omg). We'd been introduced by Sascha or something, he says he can't remember.

Oh my god. I want to go to Butter so bad tonight. DJ Inquisitive's mixes are wicked sick la.

Sigh

2009-04-04T15:03:00.003+08:00

New blogskin is like wtf. Goddamnit this is such a bitch reworking everything. *stabs self*

I'm going to sleep now, because like the chao mugger toad I was I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Goodnight, world.

One down, bitches!

2009-04-04T14:39:00.002+08:00

One exam down. An exam that I REALLY could not care about. As long as I pass I'm peachy. And the finalfinalfinal exam on Monday.

Call me short-sighted (because I am.. where the hell are my glasses?) but all I care about right now is, cough, the now. This will be over in 2 days and I am pissing my pants I'm so fucking excited. The only way I could be more excited would be if I won ten million fricking bucks and a trip to Disneyland with the mickey mouse ears and everything.

FUCKKKKKINGGGG HELL I'LL BE GRADUATING SOON OMGOMGOMGOMG PISSING MY PANTS PISSING MY PANTS PISSING MY PANTS.

Hiatus? Already?

2009-04-03T16:36:00.001+08:00

Wow I accidentally deleted my blog layout, and I didn't have it backed up, and now it looks like complete crap and I feel disgusted by it.

MPs on twitter

2009-04-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

Teo Ser Luck is on twitter.

The end of the world looms close.

Tweet me

2009-04-02T12:19:00.000+08:00

I just joined Twitter earlier this evening and I've been fucking around on it, as well as watching bits and pieces of anime, chatting on msn, checking up when Thriller next rolls around at Butter, and listening to the Thriller mix by Inquisitive leon for the past - ohhh - 4 hours or so.

I'm either maniacally efficient or a complete time waster, I can't quite decide.

To quote the music, "rave is king", hahahahaha. I've gotten Chris into Butter's Thriller night already, and I'm looking forward to getting a few more kakis for it because I am psyched. Not quite as psyched as me finally finishing fuckin' school, but it's just about damn close.

I impulsively joined Twitter on a whim to see what the hype was about without finding out if I knew anyone who was on it, but it's really alot like facebook - if you don't have enough friends on it to follow then it'll just be a bit sad for you, unless you like following only celebrities and news and that sort of thing. Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh... yawn.

Good thing is that I'm slowly finding friends who ARE on Twitter so my life will soon be super twitterspicy hahahahaha.

Vomit the extragavance

2009-04-01T18:51:00.003+08:00

Sometimes after looking at alot of clothes and makeup online I feel a bit like puking my guts out.

Perhaps it's due to the sheer overwhelming amount of material things out there that are so gorgeous yet unaffordable to me, and suppressing those feelings of wanting all these material things. But when I see it all online those suppressed feelings want to plow their way out of my system and it results in a slightly pukey kind of feeling instead.

I'm brilliant.

I've got this therapist shit down PAT, yo.

Sea of Stupidity

2009-04-01T17:07:00.001+08:00

"You don't understand, Yuzuru-san.

The sea known as stupidity is bottomless."

Moisturized lips.. I has them.

2009-04-01T00:48:00.007+08:00

I have 14 lip balms right now. (And way more lipsticks and glosses but those are understandable.. right?? RIGHT???) Of these 14, 7 are open, and the other 7 lie patiently in wait til it's time for use.

I reckon I won't be needing to buy lip balms for the whole of 2009, unless I decide to one day generously apply lip balm all over my huge moonface.

I need a tan. NEED IT. NEEEEEEEDS ITTTTTTT.

And also, technically counting today as Wednesday, I only have 4 days to my final FINAL FINAL FINAL exams! My last 2 exams are this Saturday and Monday and then - holy hell - I am free. I am FREE to never study again should I choose to! NEVER! NEVER STUDY AGAIN! The implications make me weak the knees like a new very-generous lover.

I haven't been this excited in a longlonglong time. Shit, I'm fucking PSYCHED as shit man. During my last lesson on Monday, I kept jumping and fidgeting in my seat. I mean like, I was swinging in my seat like I had lizards in my panties. You get the idea. The tutor must've thought I was on some serious major crack or some shit.

I AM GRADUATING. That sounds kinda whacked out to me. Lol. GOD I AM LOVING THIS. Freedom from school in 5 days.. that's crazy! I may study again, but that's not the point. The point is, I AM FUCKING DONE. And anything else I do after this is purely optional. SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCKKKKKK ITTTTTTTT.

Fullness

2009-03-31T19:28:00.000+08:00

Always remember how it feels like to be full.

Rudenko: EVERYBODY

2009-03-31T00:43:00.005+08:00

Discovered Rudenko's 'Everybody' by accident.. how HOT is this bitch!! (The song isn't shabby either)

Answer: very fucking extremely hothothot.

Wow I so do not wish I was her right now. Kidding. I TOTALLY WISH I WERE HER!!

Old posts, and such

2009-03-30T23:07:00.007+08:00

I was reading my old blog.. my VERY old blog.. that dates back to 2003-2004, and I'm aware of how much a kid I sounded. (I just put up a link in the site to it so I won't lose it.) I remember mostly enjoying writing in there, and I think that was perhaps my 'truest' blog yet. I remember thinking that lying or withholding the truth on my blog would be equivalent to lying to myself. Towards the end of the blog though, constantly updating it and thinking of things to write bored me and it seemed like a pain, so I gradually weaned myself off it.

Though I still mostly kept most of my feelings to myself on that old blog (it may not seem like it but it's true, what with my ramblings and all), you can still see traces of emotion if you look hard enough. We're such guarded folks these days that I found it somewhat refreshing to read my old blog, even if it WAS written by me.

It was also my wordiest blog yet. And it was also the blog I wrote in and stuck to the longest. I've forgotten about all my other blogs save this one... mainly because I'd forgotten the ID and password and couldn't delete this blog. It's a good thing, I suppose, to read through my juvenile thoughts of the days gone past. All the other blogs are dead and gone without a trace. I guess in a way this blog chronicled a part of my life that I consider the most formative. I'm pretty much set in my ways now, like a cranky 80-year-old hag.

I remember those days revolving around my friends. My friends were EVERYTHING to me then. Everyone was a friend. Getting to know ten million people was awesome. Everyone was great. You could tell in that blog how much I enjoyed the company of friends and acquaintaces. But even back then, if I was unhappy, I learnt not to show too much of it in my blog.

Some unhappiness leaked out though, be it to friends or through that blog, and it came back to bite me in the ass. That blog and that accompanying period of time taught me to be wayyyy more taciturn about my life and the people and things within it. Telling everyone everything was not wise. In fact, it was very stupid. I used to think adults were boring people because they seemed to be so private, and now of course I understand that they had every reason to be so. But I also believe that because I held that belief in the past, people were consequently also more willing to open up to me.

It was a juvenile time. But then again, I was a juvenile. Kids these days are so mature, and they definitely were more mature then me and the people I hung out with when we were the same age. I'm a bit envious (why didn't I grow up a little quicker?) but then again I had so much fun, and I went through so much (I believe the word would be 'tumultuous'). I learnt so much as a result of everything gone by that, RIGHT NOW, even though I know some parts of my life back then were painful, I firmly believe it all to have been for the greater good in shaping me to become the person I am today.

I AM my past.

I know people wish they were younger, and that they had good times in the past, and all that. But good times are always to be had, you just may not have the privilege of being as foolish or making silly mistakes like in the past because you were young. But right now? I'm glad I've learnt to differentiate between fun and being the fool for the sake of having fun. I mean, I still do stupid things, but it's intentional and not cluelessly or carelessly so, but (I'd like to think that) I don't do stupid things that seriously jeopardize my morals or who I am as a person.

Well, most of the time, anyway. I need to learn how to be a better person. Complacency has more times than not led me down the wrong side of the road.

Me? I miss my youth only for the extra number of years I'd have to live my life the way I know how to, and not for the things I did. The things I did and said, those times are over and gone with the days of my younger days. Live for the present and the future, hey?

Hey, fatty

2009-03-30T18:06:00.002+08:00

I am getting so fat I disgust myself whenever I look into a mirror. Or whenever I'm aware of my body. Or whenever I feel my belly. Or whenever I look at my thighs and arms.

So I'm basically disgusted with myself 24/7. Excellent!

...

2009-03-28T20:29:00.005+08:00

I swear everyone is out to fucking piss me off today.

Get it straight, I am not anyone's punching bag. I am not gonna suck it in because that isn't me. Bloody waste of time.

At the end of the day, I am nothing but tired.

Who doesn't want to be happy ~~(all the time)~~, eh?

Kill assumptions

2009-03-28T03:19:00.002+08:00

I hate it when people assume things. About me, or about my friends. We aren't here for your merry assumptialicious times.

I guess it happens sometimes. That's fine. That's normal. But when people keep constantly speculating about something that isn't (and by constantly I mean ALL THE FUCKING TIME) it really gets under my skin.

Do you want me to wear a sign on my forehead? Would that make things a little bit clearer for you? Oh, it would? How about you go fuck yourself then come back and we can discuss this over a spot of tea?

I feel good

2009-03-23T15:54:00.001+08:00

It felt and feels really good hanging out with the boyfriend and the best mate. Really super good. Best of both worlds, and all that.

Thriller

2009-03-20T20:29:00.003+08:00

The new promo mix for Thriller, Butter's new resident DJ night. I've been listening to this mix as I've worked on my projects.

I am so going for Thriller. Kick it!!

Open sesame, Butter Factory.

Cuts and such

2009-03-20T19:59:00.002+08:00

I got a haircut. It's not a hairstyle, just a haircut. I went to the salon and was like, "Snip off all my dead ends (maximum 4 inches) and leave me my fringe and we're good." I got off all my dead ends exterminated and there was an entire mountain of dead, ugly hair on the floor. It was disgusting.

And I've been really busy with school projects as well. Despite doing all my work asap, even things like tutorials and quizzes that're due next week and doing them a week in advance (which means I'm doing them the very day I get the work I know I need to do), for projects it feels like an endless stream of tasks that need to be done. Do it, edit it, grammar check it, send it in, do more checks, edit it, vomit out my guts.

I'm coping fine. I'd just like a wee bit more sleep, especially as I've been going out and actually having a life this week. So it's like - projects, projects, sleep a few hours, go out, come home, do projects, projects, knock out. I had to cancel out on meeting Kum today because we had a group meeting yesterday and there was more work to do today. I feel really bad about having to cancel on her. Work over friends.. this is the future. (Is it? Mildly depressing stuff.)

Thank god I somehow was motivated enough to do all my shit super early this semester so that I'm not left with an avalanche of school things to do all the time. It feels like I'm just regularly doing work, but I don't know why I'm motivated into doing it. As in, I didn't PLAN to start working on my tasks early. (It's Maddie talking.. I'm not on time, I'm not late, I'm fricking EARLY man. What the fuck?) It just happened. How odd.

I guess I'm constantly tuned into doing work this semester. Whatever my mind's ulterior motives are, I gotta admit that it feels good. And slightly superior to everyone else. But this is probably the way things (read: life) are supposed to be so I shouldn't be feeling proud anyway. Normality is getting things done early. How dreary life is when all you're about is finishing tasks early.

"Hey guys look! I finished xx document 2 weeks in advance and this powerpoint presentation really early too!!"
"That's great, now go suck some shit."

That's why you gotta go out and have a fucking life. Finishing your tasks early only means more time fr yourself. Woooooooooo. Woo woo woo. Woo woo woo. I am sooo going out and meeting friends and watching movies and clubbing after this semester. This semester, which ends in exactly 17 days.

I also need a job to sponsor all of that. I'm ready to rock and roll, future employer. Hire me. I'm a beam of sunshine in a basket, all ready to go and shine my light of hardworkingness upon the world.

I can taste the freedom.. the freedom of 17-days-later. It smells of flowers, unicorns, rainbows and a slight whiff of shit.

Mudpie

2009-03-13T00:29:00.002+08:00

Mudpie.

Brown baby.

Burnt bread.

Sure my skin is better and clearer and less oily when I'm fair, and I'd like to think I look half-decent when I'm fair too, but...

I love myself so much more when I'm tanned, baby.

INTJ?

2009-03-12T17:50:00.002+08:00

This shit is quite accurate.

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/intj/

MAHJONG IS THE SHIT

2009-03-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

I just learnt to play MJ on 8th March 2009.

I must record this down for the purpose of posterity because my life is now changed forever.

ANYONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO PLAY MAHJONG MUST INVITE ME TO PLAY. NOWWW.

I love this shit. This is the new WoW yo.

Sigh

2009-03-02T14:57:00.002+08:00

Now that I think about it, I really am quite annoyed because this happened recently and now it's happened again.

Its no biggie. I'm not asking for a fucking consultation with documentation and a lawyer. A simple "Is it alright?" or a mere mention would have been nice. No need to disregard the others in the group, people.

>.<

2009-03-02T14:53:00.002+08:00

Why do people make decisions without consulting the other people who are involved? It's not that hard.

How about I make ten million decisions without asking you first.

Page ripper

2009-02-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

Something really weird happened today.. or last night.. I wouldn't know, because I was asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a piece of paper right on my face, and I remember flinging it aside and swearing.

Next morning, I wake up, and I see that piece of paper that I'd flung aside. It was the very first page of a book that I'd borrowed from Sean. It was a clean tear, too. A page in its entirety. And I didn't tear that page out, it was intact when I went to sleep.

And the book that the page originated from? I'd placed it on a stack of other books before I went to sleep - it was on the table beside the bed. The books weren't right beside me.. it was my phone, Avis' phone, space, space, and then the books. If I were to take the book whilst still lying on the bed, I'd have to extend my entire arm out before being able to reach the book. And when I woke up, the book was still on the stack of books, albeit slightly askew.

I don't sleepwalk, by the way.

So the question is, if I did it in my sleep, did I:
Stretch and reach my entire arm out for the book, nicely flip it open to the very very first page, grab hold of the book in a damn good position in order to tear it out nice and clean without leaving any bits of the page behind, put the book back in its original position, and then leave the page on my face?

And only then to wake up from the feeling of that page on my face and throwing it aside. Wtf?

I'm seriously sorry that it had to happen to Sean's book, because I know he values his books. Well, most people value their property and wouldn't like stuff they loan out damaged, and I fully intend to get Sean a new copy.

But that doesn't bother me as much as the fact that the page-ripping incident occurred and I have no valid reason for why it happened whatsoever. It's fucking weird.

I am puzzled. And slightly creeped out. And yet I know it makes no sense at all for a ghost to come in the room, merrily tear out a page and then proceed to leave it on my face. So yes. This mystery will persist until the day I die.

Eyes

2009-02-22T05:23:00.005+08:00

There was a little boy and he lived in a house.

When he turned seven, he decided that he wasn't afraid of the dark anymore.

He began opening his eyes at night instead of closing them tight like he usually would.

One night, when he opened his eyes, there was a woman standing in the corner of his room. He wasn't afraid.

The next night, the woman was sitting at the foot of his bed, her back turned towards him. She seemed harmless.

The night after that, she was lying beside him, her face turned towards him. She was pretty, except for the red scar, and she stared at him a long time.

The little boy kept his eyes opened for a long time, on many nights. The people in his room didn't really matter to him, even when it got crowded. Old and young, male and female, fully-limbed and not, they were all just there to him. He was oddly unaffected.

They stared at him when his eyes were open, as he looked about the room or spaced out or thought about school. They stared at him a lot. They stared not at his arms or body or legs, they simply stared at his face. All the time. He wondered what they were thinking about when they did that, but eventually he supposed that they mustn't think at all. Spirits have no such capability, after all.

And on a night as normal as the rest, he arose from his sleep, opened his eyes, and his room was crowded as always. He stretched, accustomed to their presence. He closed his eyes and gave a big yawn accompany that stretch. And when he opened his eyes again, the little boy realised that he was blind.

Spirits don't care much for little boys. They don't care about little boys' arms or bodies or legs. They don't even care much for their faces. They possess all (or most) of these things, after all.

It's the eyes, you see. It's the eyes that open at night, that have such light, that radiate such soul, that they can't help but draw near to you. And when the eyes are open at night, they're the only things that shine in the dark.

And spirits, they don't know any better, you see... they can't help themselves. They can only try and take back what they knew when they were alive. And the light in the eyes at night is their compulsion. And they will look at it long and hard before deciding to take it back, even if doesn't belong to them.

ps. This wasn't meant for my literary agent. It was just something that came to me while lying awake at night. With my eyes open, naturally.

Chelsea

2009-02-19T05:32:00.003+08:00

Terry's dog Chelsea is an absolute sweetheart. I don't think I've ever had a dog come up to me the first time I meet it, lie down, and then lay its head on my lap. That's one manja dog. And if she gets up, and you continue petting her, she'll lie back down. It feels more like she knows you want to pet her so she'll stay, as opposed to her staying because she wants somebody to pet her, if that makes sense. Like she's doing it for you and not for herself.

And apparently, Chelsea doesn't take to everyone too, so it's nice to know that she likes me :)

I'll bring her some treats the next time, if I remember to.

Happiness

2009-02-19T05:04:00.004+08:00

Happiness can be an elusive thing, when you think about it.

No one, I believe, is happy 24 hours of every day. If they are, they're under some serious medication.

I suppose most of us strive for being happy at least half of the time. And if you can be happy most of the time, well, good to be you.

I don't think you realise how happy you are when you are happy, until you really think about it. It requires some sort of cognitive thought. I mean, sure, you FEEL happy. But it's not until you think about why you're happy and adding it all up that you realise, "I think I should be a little happier than I feel because all those things deserve for me to be so."

It might be odd but that's how I work, I suppose. Thinking - and all its practicalities.

And when you're unhappy, it's always good to remember the happy things. Usually, the unhappy things can't bring you down too low if you've been happy enough, or happy for a long period of time. If you haven't been happy in awhile, and shit hits the fan, then well it sux2b u.

Wha.. WoW?

2009-02-15T15:56:00.003+08:00

What the hell did I do before WoW? The past 2 months or so was a blur.

It's somewhat depressing that even though I'm not playing the game and not looking to play it (just for right now, anyway), the result is that I'm left with way too much time of my hands.

I'm not out today, and I'm not WoWing, so I'm left twiddling my thumbs. I'm literally lying there, questioning my purpose in life. I got so bored I finished my homework that isn't due for another 2 weeks. It only took me an hour and so now I'm blogging because, well, I can either watch teevee for another ten million hours or I can do something that requires me to use some small functioning part of my brain as well as my fingers (whew! Talk about a workout!) and construct whole, coherent sentences.

Okay Kum just called. Laters.

Reference me

2009-02-08T10:55:00.006+08:00

Is referencing really that difficult? People seem to have such difficulty with it. It's not that hard once you get the hang of it. Go to the site that has the referencing system you're supposed to use (and it actually supplies with you examples of how to do in-text citations and references), COPY AND PASTE IT ONTO YOUR DOCUMENT, then fill it in with your own relevant information.

Things to do:

1. For in-text citations, please put the fucking thing before your fucking full-stop. Like (this). Not like. (this) Can? Okay? Thanks.

2. Grammar, people. Grammar. English is not Chinese directly translated. But I guess you can't help it if you've already really tried. Sigh.

3. It'd be nice if you accurately copied your own references when doing your in-text citations. The year 2006 is the year 2006, not year 2006 in your reference and 2007 in your in-text citations. Am I supposed to know which fucking year your reference is from and edit it accordingly for you?

OH, I SUPPOSE I AM! RIGHT?

BECAUSE I'M DOING THE FUCKING EDITING AND GRAMMAR CHECK AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN CHECK BEFORE YOU SENT YOUR FUCKING 2 PAGE DOCUMENT TO ME AND NOW THAT I'M COMPILING EVERYTHING I NEED TO SIEVE THROUGH 15 PAGES INSTEAD OF 2 AND CHECKING BACK AND FORTH AND SCROLLING UP AND BLOODY DOWN IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR IN-TEXT CITATIONS AND REFERENCES TALLY.

Wow, fucking awesome.

4. Please make sure that your in-text citations exist in your list of references. Likewise, please ensure that you do not have a bunch of references that you pulled out of your asshole that aren't in your in-text citations.

It's easy peasy!
1+1 = 2!
In-text ciations + References = ZOMG Correlation!! = Correct!! = I won't spend motherfucking 2 hours double-checking your fucking work and babysitting your document to see if you can MATCH YOUR FUCKING IN-TEXT CITATIONS TO YOUR REFERENCES AND FUCKING VICE VERSA YOU MORON. HOW CAN YOU EVEN HAVE LIKE, SIX REFERENCES THAT AREN'T. EVEN. IN. YOUR. FUCKING. WORK.

Oh. And even better. We're doing a project based on facts. Everything is referenced. Confirm guarantee plus chop. And in your entire document you only have 2 references when you damn well need like, 10 of them based on the content that you have. And these 2 references that you have? They AREN'T EVEN IN YOUR FUCKING LIST OF REFERENCES.

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

Do I look like a fucking babysitter? Want me to hold your hand? Pat your head? Wipe your snot? Tie your hair? Shove a fucking silver spoon down your throat til you gag and die from a horrible death of having cold hard metal gouge out your esophagus and innards?

Jesus fucking christ.

And even better, you don't come for the fucking project meeting, and I find out from your brother that it's because it's your boyfriend's birthday. Wow. You are so fucking lame.

The only reason you're in our group is because we've worked with your brother several times before and he's a good worker. And it's the first time we're working with you. We let you into the group BECAUSE of your brother. You are nothing. And you can't even bother to make a good impression. First project meeting and you don't come. Granted, your brother wasn't really supposed to say why you weren't at the meeting, but the truth is out, and it's that YOU'RE A STUPID GIRLY GIRL WHO MISSES HER FUCKING FIRST PROJECT MEETING BECAUSE SHE HAS TO SPEND IT WITH HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE IT'S HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY BOO HOO FUCKING HOO.

I don't give a shit. About you. Or your boyfriend. I only care about this project and the lecturer who is the most anal lecturer about references and etc etc etc.

Pathetic. You can grow some references outta your ass, why not grow some fucking responsibilities too? You fucking imbecile.

And I sent you an email, and you had better damn well do your fucking work right, because I HATE FUCKING BABYSITTING. Why don't I like kids? Cos they get lost and die. And your work is the same. Your work is lost and it's dead and you can't add up or correlate.

That last line rhymed. Anger has its uses.

Your work is lost
And it's dead
And you can't add up
Or correlate

Anyways, it's back to editing for me. The second project is gonna be ubbbbbbbbbber long and I'm gonna tell everyone to use the referencing system from our school website. That we have been told to use before. Many times. It's not anything new. It's old. Old like YOUR FUCKING MISTAKES GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

Whatever. This is my job and I will do it well. But if they give me shit the next round I am gonna have to shout at somebody so that I will feel better.

To 80

2009-02-07T20:46:00.001+08:00

Thursday, 5th Feb.

13 days & 13 hours.

Feral druid. For now.

2009-02-07T20:09:00.001+08:00

Vi veri universum vivus vici

Don't touch my stuff

2009-01-27T20:44:00.004+08:00

I don't really like it when people touch my things without permission.

You don't go into people's rooms and assume that you can use the stuff there without asking for permission first. It's just rude, really. You could be friends with somebody for 50 years and unless the person has given you explicit permission to use their stuff, "Feel free to use my hairbrush for as long as you live", you simply don't saunter into a room and use their stuff without permission first.

I'm pretty germophobic too, and I personally find it fucking gross when people touch their feet, or happily put their hands on grimy tables at the kopitiam, or pick their noses in public and then wipe it on the mrt train wall.

So I really don't like it if someone who's been out the entire day or been god-knows-where, sitting at kopitiams or on roadside curbs, comes over and sits on my bed. Or anyone else's bed, for that matter. That in my head is just horrendously gross.

It's not too much to ask for, is it?

You don't own me

2009-01-25T15:22:00.002+08:00

I hate it when anyone thinks that they're the boss of me. And I will resist and fight back. With words not fists, because I'm a hippy deep down inside.

Well, if someone who knew what the fuck they were talking about, or was genuinely concerned about me, and decided to (somewhat) be the boss of me, I'll listen. But if it's someone who's a fucking loser in life and doesn't know fuck-all trying to give me 'sound advice', then they can really just suck their own ass.

Whatever. People.

Old fucking people

2009-01-23T23:56:00.005+08:00

So pissed off with old people right now.

1st incident: Get into cab. Take cab. Cabfare costs $6. I only have 2 $2 notes and a $50. I give $50 note and feel slightly apologetic. I actually checked if I had coins to supplement my $2 notes so I wouldn't have to give the cab driver my $50 because I know cab drivers hate giving all their loose change and having a $50 note instead.

Cab driver sees my $50 note, is immediately dismayed and annoyed, and mutters to himself in Mandarin, "Walau what a big note, the cabfare so little then give me $50 note" and kept clicking his tongue irritatedly to himself.

I get pissed, and I say, "UNCLE, it's not like I PURPOSELY gave you a $50 note you know. It's not like I PURPOSELY sat on your cab so that I could BREAK my $50 note. It's not like I did it on purpose."

And he says in Mandarin, "You think yourself lah. Sit such a short distance then give me $50 note." And I retort, "Uncle, I only have $2 notes and a $50 note. You want you come and look in my wallet la! What do you want me to do??" I jsut stopped short of saying he can take my $2 notes and give me back my $50 note if he's SOOOOOO MOTHERFUCKING UNHAPPY.

Fucker gives me my change, an extra dollar actually but hell if I'm gonna give it back to him, and I slam his fucking taxi door.

HONESTLY, it's not like the fucker was changing shifts or anything. He HAD notes with him. Then what am I supposed to do, break all my notes before I get on your motherfucking cab is it? Fucking piece of shit.

Incident 2: Rude shoving auntie at NTUC who squeezed her way past my mom and me in order to get to the cashier even though my mom seriously had the right of way. You had to be there to see it. I glared at the fucking auntie all the way, but obviously she was oblivious to it, what with her fucking thick old auntie hide and all. Fucking rhinocerous skin she has. Bloody old cow.

Incident 3: Happened 4 minutes after Incident 2. Rude uncle who thinks he can anyhow anyhow squeeze past trolleys at the cashier. You know how when you want to exit NTUC or some other supermarket or whatever, before you actually ENTER the cashier lane to exit, you see if the lanes are crowded? Then you choose a lane that won't take much effort to exit and then you move out. Plus, my mom and I were at Huugang's NTUC, it's not the most spacious place in the world. They don't give you 5metres worth of trolley space per lane like Giant Hypermart or something.

So this asshole comes up behind me, wanting to exit. The lane, SERIOUSLY, is full. There's my trolley, and the trolley that belongs to the woman from the cashier beside mine, and no space in between that. And the trolleys are big. And my mom had just had her knee operation and is standing in front of my trolley settling the bill so I'm afraid to hit her if I move. And this guy says, "Can you move not?" And I say, "I can't, it's FULL." And it really is, my mom and I were at NTUC during peak hour, it's fucking close to CNY, so imagine the fucking crowd. And this guy says, "Just move a bit la, what's so difficult?" in an insolent tone.

KANINABU JIBAI. I honestly had to zip my lips because I knew if I opened them I would be saying some fucking unpleasant shit. Like, fuck you and your fucking mother. Or something. Or just Fuck you. Whatever. Old fucker.

Incident 4: Oh wow this got me pissed off man. I'm on the train, and I sit down. I'm seated beside, guess what, an auntie. I bring my hair to the front, I DID NOT flip my hair, and I'm completely oblivious, and this bloody auntie gets all riled up like a fat stupid imbecilic pig, exclaiming, "Aiyo! Why you flip your hair like that!!" and starts brushing at her arm where my hair had touched it, brushing her arm off vigorously as if I've got rabies.

You know, if she had been more polite about it, I really would've been fine. If she had glared at me, I would've apologised. But she was so rude and making a BIG DEAL OUT OF FUCKING NOTHING that I said, "I'm sorry, but it's not like I did it on purpose you know. It's not like I PURPOSELY flipped my hair so that I could swipe your arm. What's the big deal?? Walau just relax la! Can't you be more polite?" and I raised my voice slightly, too, so that people on the train would notice.

I drew at least a bit more notice than the woman on the train who was slapping her young son (about 7 years old, I reckon?) on the face.

He was disagreeing with her about something (he wasn't shouting, screaming or crying), he wore spectacles and clothes and had a hairstyle that made it appear as though he was a smart little kid who read books on planets and dinosaurs, and his mother gave him one tight quick slap on his face. And then another slap. She was so quick, you could barely see the slap. She was like Flash, the comic book dude, only you'd call her Slap, because she was so quick and slappy. Call her Slappy, or Slap, or Quicky Slappy.

ANYWAYYYYYYY. Back to my rant about this rude MRT auntie.

FUCK YOU if you think that I'm just a person who will take a fucking stranger's crap. YOU CAN SUCK YOUR FATHER'S DICK. Wait, you probably already do. Fucking asshole bitch ass auntie. And she was holding a plastic bag and it was TOUCHING MY BAG. So you have YOUR boundaries but I cannot have MINE is it?! FUCKING HELL.

When this woman got up at her train stop the back of her fugly purple shirt was stuck in her fat ass ugly pants. That's what you get for being a demanding, rude, fucking bitch. Your clothes get stuck in your pants, you get camel toe, people can see your nipples through your shirt even though you aren't aware of it, everyone thinks you're fat, you hate yourself, and guess what? Everyone hates you too.

Oh by the way, I'm currently PMSing, so anyone who annoys me is an automatic enemy. I don't like blaming PMS, so I'll just blame all these old ass motherfucking people instead.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IS IT?
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING?
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD YOU THINK EVERYONE HAS TO GIVE WAY TO YOU IS IT?
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD EVERYONE MUST FUCKING RESPECT YOU??

I say, FUCK YOU. Fuck all you old and middle-aged people who think that you deserve the right of way to everything. Just because you're closer to dying DOESN'T mean that you automatically deserve my trust and respect. Being old only means that you've got more age on you, and nothing else. Being old simply means that you've gained a couple more years on me, and you haven't gotten anything else. You don't fucking deserve SHIT.

Oh, and as a disclaimer, the 'old people' mentioned in the above 4 incidents were younger than 60 years old. If they were like, more than 70 years old I wouldn't get pissed because, hey, old people DO get cranky right? So that's cool.

BUT THESE FUCKERS WERE YOUNGER THAN THAT. They weren't that old. They were just people who're older and think that they can get away with shit. Fucking assholes. Hate them all.

Please don't carry my bag

2009-01-14T11:39:00.002+08:00

Guys who carry their girlfriends' handbags for more than 2 minutes are faggots. Guys who can relinquish their manlihood and carry around their girls' girly Gucci handbags for an entire day seriously need to ask their fathers for lessons in being a true man.

And those 2 minutes that they're holding their girlfriends' handbags had better be because the girl is tying her shoelaces/ putting on a plaster/ adjusting her bra/ tying her hair/ any activity that requires both hands, she needs space to do her thing, and/or she needs to bend over (and I don't mean during sex).

If the girl is looking at makeup or other pretty shiny items, making a phonecall, feeling lazy, scratching her eye, tying her hair, playing with a puppy.. she is still able to carry her own handbag. Really.

Any girl that doesn't mind her boyfriend looking like a feminine, nutless piece of human being for the small convenience of not having to carry her own handbag needs a whipping. Or a talk. Whichever works best.

Go guys! Be a man! Do the right thing!

Newton Faulkner

2009-01-10T23:58:00.005+08:00

Fucking epic.

The same guy also sang the below song. IMHO, pretty fucking amazing. (/amaze, people)

Who would've known it was the same guy?

Boyfriend

2009-01-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

It's nice having a boyfriend. Having a companion, having him around, doing things or not doing anything at all, as long as you're physically together. The mere presence of what-is rather than a what-if is a comfort.

I think whatever I'm saying is a more muted version of how I actually feel, because I don't really want to end up waxing lyrical about the miracles and joy of love on the blog. Certain things you say, and other things you keep private. Without discretion we would be nothing but unhinged, runaway yapping dogs and chattering monkeys in a room. (If that makes sense.)

"Dog. Raow raow raow."

Ugly women

2009-01-07T18:41:00.000+08:00

It annoys me when guys (but not all of them) think that women who look like the girl-next-door (and I don't mean pretty girls-next-doors) are "not bad looking", that average -looking women who pile on the makeup are "pretty", or that women who simply show off some skin but have average/crappy bodies are "hot".

STRANGLE! MAUL! DECAPITATE! SLIT THROATS!

Grow some eyes already, boys! Don't let your heads get ruled by your cocks. Not every woman who has a pussy and a couple of tits is worth gawking at. If you're gonna ogle, at least make sure the woman's got some bloody standard!

The next guy who tells me some ugly chick is hot, I will rip his head off.
Verbally.
Metaphysically.
Too bad - not physically.

Twentyfour?!

2009-01-06T22:57:00.005+08:00

I JUST realised that I will be turning 24 this year. OMG! What the fuck? *scrambles around* *knocks over a table* *bangs her 24-year-old knee* CURSES!

I am seriously dreading turning old. Age gracefully? Damn you, old age, because I'm putting up a fight! My weapons of mass destruction include botox, and maybe a discreet nip and a tuck elsewhere. Hell, I'll botox my armpits if I need to.

(Actually some people do botox their armpits.. because they sweat in copious amounts. Mmm delicious!)

Only men can be old and appear 'distinguished'. (And even then, not all men can do so.. chee ko peks don't count okay.) It's the rare woman who still looks 'distinguished' or 'handsome' with her face full or wrinkles and cakey makeup. Ugh. And at any rate, do I wanna look distinguished at 60? Or super chio? I'll settle for super chio if I can hahahahahahaha.

Oh I crack myself up. A super hot 60-year-old woman rocking it.. lol.

Hello 2009

2009-01-06T14:35:00.003+08:00

Christmas came and went.

New year and came and went.

And now we're here. 2009. And I still haven't gotten my grades for last semester, even though I start school in a week. Or was it this week? I no keep track lah.

But my grades from last semester are looming close and making me nervous because there's a possibility I might fail. Network Management really isn't any fun. I applaud all those people doing IT out there but I wonder how they do it. Because it isn't easy. And not very fun. Conceptually, it is, but practically, it's not very fun is it?

And I've mentioned the word 'fun' 3 times in one paragraph. Stimulating.

I am currently holing up at home and doing homey things. Like WoW (thanks to Larry) or being with Avis or spending time with a few friends. But it's all lazy shit. No heavy clubbing and stuff like that.

Maddie moves in phases. This is the Shit Ass Motherfucking Lazy Phase right now. You wanna go to the mama shop? Sure, only if you're driving. Wanna take a walk? Well not so much a walk as a sit-on-the-couch.

A few photos of New Year's will come soon. Everything will be on facebook, mainly. Isn't that always the case? Can't bloody expect ten million photos on one blog, can you? Unless chew are a sooper famous blogger la then that one donch say la hor.

BS

2008-12-31T02:34:00.002+08:00

I think most of us have the ability to detect bullshit from a mile away. It's just a matter of whether we decide to take action upon detection, point it out, and blatantly say, "Hey fucker, I know you're bullshitting me, in my face, about this. So tell me what's really going on."

Most of us don't ever do that. Social civilities, and all that jazz. How tiresome it is. So rather than have to deal with such nonsense I try and ensure that I don't even have to come into contact with such bullshitty people who are just full of it.. it being bullshit.

We're all still 12!

2008-12-30T02:51:00.006+08:00

I met up with my primary 6C classmates today at Shokudo. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect. Gotta admit, I was a tad apprehensive. Would everyone be completely different? Would we still click? Would there be awkward silences?

When I arrived (late because I was running errands earlier), everyone was milling around thinking of food to order, ordering their food, or waiting for their food. When we sat, I plonked myself down and ended up in between Denys and Lucas.
That's everyone above squeezing into the shot. Denys, behind me, is NOT that tall. So in order for him not be blocked by my big head and my big hair (read: the fro), he raised himself up using sheer butt and back power in order to be in the photo.

And so it all began.

The bunch of us 20 folks were seated at an uber long table, and naturally one end of the table couldn't hear the other end of the table for shit. Neither could we have, because we were wrapped up in conversation at our own respective sides of the table, too. Some people left early, and the rest of us scooted closer together.

The bunch of us took so many photos and talked so much shit it was amazing! All of us were still the same, albeit a tad more mature. (Well we'd have to be, considering we were all last together at age 12) Most were still studying, and a very few were already working. They were mostly fresh grads.

Afterwards, when Shokudo was about to close, we moved over to Hyatt's lounge. A few more people split the scene, leaving us with a smaller group. And so we just chatted and joked and talked more shit.. I seriously had so much fun tonight.

As much as I love old friends, meeting REALLY old friends like these is comparable to meeting new friends, just rehashed. It's like.. rehashed new friends. Or rehashed old friends. Whatever it is.

I hope to see the bunch of them again. It was really really lovely seeing everyone. And considering how I don't use the word 'lovely' EVER, it must REALLY truly have been lovely seeing everyone again after ten million donkey ass years.

On the bright side, I'll be seeing Lucas and Denys really soon - at least in the first few weeks of January, because Lucas will be flying over to Holland ("hey man, get me some weed and milk!") for a job exchange in late January. Yay more hangin' outs!

The boys below look so dashing it's like a studio shot. I'm just a proud mama bear! As.. you can.. tell.. in the photo..

Love friends! :)

Cards and such

2008-12-28T14:55:00.005+08:00

I opened my christmas cards and got crayon and glitter on my fingers. But such is the crayon and glitter of christmas love. Lol.

To be honest, the only person I've actually told this blog about is Kum and Avis. There's no reason except that I haven't been 'actively' promoting it and hollering to everyone with a loudhailer: CHECK OUT MY BLOGGGGGG!!

As such, I find it peculiar - even to myself - that I blog as if I am addressing an audience.

I suppose the days of yore when I used to blog for others' entertainment have stuck a little with me. Now I just write. And most times it's not even interesting or really very humorous, either. I'm just writing what I'm thinking. Exactly. This is it. Absolutely thrilling, isn't it.

Christmas is over, and so are the food and presents. Avis got me a Bulgari wallet for Christmas! I've been wanting a proper wallet since about, oh I don't know, FUCKING FOREVER. And I really, really cannot imagine how much it must have cost him, even though he seemed rather flippant about it. Lol. Hmmmmmm. I was seriously amazed when he brought out the gift cos I did NOT expect something like that (read: crazy ass expensive). No way I could have gotten him anything even remotely close to that price range because I'm a broke ass so I bought him a Zegna tie.. which of course isn't as expensive as Bulgari wallet but it isn't a Raoul belt either. (yes, weird price comparisons.)

Now I'm just waiting for New Year's Eve so that I can spend some time with people that I care about (read: give a shit about). Not very many people are worth the time these days, I find. There're the Acquaintances, Casual Friends, and then the very few Super Good Friends. There isn't really an in-between the Super Good Friends and Casual Friends for me, as I've slowly discovered. I suppose you either cut it or you don't.

It might seem harsh, but there's less cognitive dissonance and personal conflict that way. I'd rather cut you off than have the both of us trying to deal with our irreconcilable differences. It just isn't worth the effort or time once you've sorted someone that you KNOW for SURE belongs in another category other than the SGFs. Now we've both got the time to do our own things, be it shopping, sleeping, scratching your bum, or playing WoW. (Okay so maybe the last one's just me. And Song. But Song isn't involved in this.)

Merry christmas, fat ass

2008-12-27T02:00:00.002+08:00

So I've totally been gorging myself on food and stuff the past few days.

Baked rice with oodles of mozarella. Grilled salmon. Salsa and nachos. Cereal prawns. Mashed potatoes. Ngoh hiang. Turkey. Ham. Chocolate fondue. Mini peach tarts. Green and black olives. Meatballs. Potatoes. Cheng teng. Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream. Green curry with chicken. Thai beef noodles with soup. Thai laksa. Watermelon and lime juice. Mango smoothie. Chocolates. Bananas.

I feel fat. Deliciously fat. God I love cheese. LOVE IT!!!!!!

But. I will be guilty tomorrow. The house is out of food. Kind of.. there is still junk food lying around.

And I am falling sick. Again. This is disgusting.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T20:02:00.001+08:00

Kids are so annoying. Not all kids, just most of them. Especially bossy, little know-it-alls. "Can't you do this?" "Why can't I do that?" "I know how to do it OKAY."

Ugh.

Merry christmas, everyone.

Let's get white!

2008-12-22T18:14:00.003+08:00

So let's say I was super tanned. And then I decided one day that I wanted to be super fair. So I start using lots of whitening products on my face religiously - products that actually work. I succeed, and my face gets really white. As fair as an angel's bottom.

But I didn't apply those products to my ears. So won't that mean that I'll have a really fair, white, gloriously white face, but really dark, tanned and dirty-looking ears?

Things I think about in the shower as I scrub my ears out.

Looking forward to tomorrow! Maybe I'll manage to dig up enough motivation to snap some pictures.

Monkeys

2008-12-20T05:12:00.001+08:00

Do monkeys have hard lives? Do they get bored?

I think I would get bored alot. I'd be a monkey with ADD man. I mean, shit, give a monkey crack already to cure the boredom. I think I would slap my other monkey friends and then run away for fun. Ook ook tee hee.

Conclusion: I would be an entertained yet lonely monkey.

Stories to tell

2008-12-20T04:58:00.004+08:00

Butter earlier tonight. Too many stories. Lol. Stories which I will probably forget upon sleep and its consequent awakening.

Is butter moving to Fullerton soon? I think this is Butter's last weekend at Robertson. Thanks to Sean that we got to spend Butter's last weekend here :) Butter will never die.. or so Butter bravely declares now. Fullerton is bloody jinxed la. Ten million clubs have opened and and died there. The longest one was Centro, but it died a miserable death, and it laid a curse for every club that dared opened its doors after Centro closed down.

Things that will go on my tombstone:
"Did you take your receipt?"
"Remember to lock the door ah."
"Remember to close the windows ah."

As 'silly' as it may sound, I care dearly for my friends, and I want them to be happy. All of them. Single or attached. Soaring careers or jobless. Good families or not. The odds can be beaten and happiness can be found, if you can find it within yourself to be content instead of seeking external sources of happiness.. those external sources are temporary. Contentment lies within yourself. (I say this to myself as well, and I'd like to think that I believe in it.) When you're happy, many things don't actually matter.

I guess that's why they say that love is enough to keep you happy and warm. I won't be foolish enough to endorse that. Try saying that to an eskimo who's sitting outside his igloo. He'll tell you to fuck yourself. But with enough contentment and happiness, many material things cease to matter. You will still need your house and car and a comfortable life.. who doesn't want that? But what I mean is that you will stop searching for happiness in inanimate items and objectifying your happiness, thinking that it can be found in things instead of yourself or people.

Don't worray, be happay. *thumps my bongo drums*

Wow

2008-12-19T20:40:00.003+08:00

I am unable to free up enough space on my laptop to install all the patches for WoW. It's a laptop, so I'm not expecting it to have oodles of memory anyway.

My home PC is down, which is why I'm relying on my lappie for this in the first place.

I need a new PC. So that I can cruise through WoW like a butterfly on the winds of perdition.

On a sidenote, I wish that things were cheaper. And I am eating KoKo Krunch now and feeling somewhat content, if not somewhat sleepy. Had a good day out with Kum today just bitching and chilling.. do we subscribe to any other activity really?

Quote of the day: "IS IT FREEEEEE???" followed by subconscious wandering of the feet towards representative of random charity organization with tiny santa hats for sale.

Bloody nonsense

2008-12-17T16:10:00.008+08:00

Went to Pudong on tuesday for dinner. I was too lazy to even think about whipping out the camera. Has the shutterbug (read: camwhore) bug within me perished a miserable death by jumping in front of a train?

But it was a good dinner. I don't think I've ever had a bad one there, really. Oh and Larry said that I've lost weight! Happiness!

I didn't take any photos when I was out (again) but I did take one photo when I was home. Took it when I was on the phone with Kum. I look so happy. I think Kum and I were laughing about murukku.

These past 2 days have been stupid and ridiculous. (Note: It has nothing to do with the people I know personally.) I am forced to reconstruct and alter my views of people and society in general. Conclusion: They ~~suxors~~ really don't do much to redeem themselves, do they?

People constantly bitch about the society we live in.. we're so unhelpful, so discourteous, so apathetic, etc. But for those of us who were born and bred here like obedient multiplying microbes on a petri dish, we've simply grown numb and accustomed to it all, such that we've chosen to either disregard it all or reluctantly shrug, accept it and say, "Aiyah, Singapore is like that one lor. What to do?"

And so we all continue on with our lives. How joyful.

At times like this, the Angry Person in me comes out and says, fuck you all.

I sound so disgustingly angsty and emo but really, for every one of you truly uncivilised creeps out there who don't know how to have some basic human morals and principles and be a person, fuck you, and fuck your mother. If your mother's dead, well, then double-fuck you. Aren't you just merry being scum? I would punch you and stab you in the eye if I could, I am infuriated at all of your existence(s).

Anyways. Sean's back. Woot! Good prata. Woot woot! And it's 6am now.. time for no-more-ranting and instead it's time for sleeps.

Thanks for the life back

2008-12-16T02:37:00.004+08:00

It's awesome. I haven't slept all of last night and I'm still awake. This feels just like Zoukout, only I'm not high and I'm sitting on my ass instead of getting sand IN my ass.

I've been talking to friends since I've been home.. it's fucking amazing. Suddenly, I've got all this free time on my hands to scratch my bum or stare at the sun anytime I want. No. More. Projects. The projects got to me more than the exams, really. I don't have a problem staying up all night and then going for my exam the next day without any sleep and looking like a cancer patient who's on chemotherapy. But when I am required to eat, shit and breathe projects like there's no tomorrow, it can get a little hard to breathe.

*wheeze*

This week will be a busy week. Busy busy busy with friends. And next week, I anticipate, will be rather busy too. Can't wait! Thanks for giving me my life back, December!

I really need to study

2008-12-15T02:12:00.005+08:00

Oh my god I can't get my ass down to studying.

T-12 hours to the exams and I am still. Bloody. Here. And my brain is completely empty and devoid of the knowledge required for the exam.

Get your groove on Maddie! Study! Network Management is fun! Cables! Convergence! Routing! NETWORKING!! It's like facebook, only more technical!

Groannnn.

I am so sosososososo clubbing after my exams. I have never disliked all my 3 years of getting this degree until about a week ago. Next semester will be better.. mainly because it will be my last. Please you may suck it, school. (Fancy the engrish?)

Plus, Sean will be back 4 days after the exams! And I'll be free to hang out with all the friends that I have neglected for awhile. That means more good times. Will I take photos? Will the phototaking laziness persist? Only time will tell.

Hello again!

2008-12-15T00:48:00.004+08:00

The ten millionth blog commences. I get too bored with blogging WAY too easily, honestly. Maybe it’s a committment problem.

“It’s not you, it’s me, baby. That’s why I keep quitting you but coming back soon afterwards. You’re a drug I cant quit. Why must this go on, Blog?”

So.On to blogging matters.

I went to Zoukout on saturday night. I was sick of constantly working on projects but by the time projects were done with, my exams had started. Thanks for the breathing space, assholes who plan the school schedule.

I just really needed a break. Hence: Zoukout. Not the wisest thing to do in the midst of exams, I admit, but it's my exams, so you can shut up about it. (SHADDDDUUPPPPP!!)

So I had my first exam on Saturday morning, which meant that I crammed all night on Friday for my exam and went for it without any sleep. As usual. Then I went home, intending to sleep for at at most 5 hours before going for Zoukout, but I couldn't sleep because I'd accidentally OD'ed on ritalin. Like, what the fuck, right? I was all twitchy and jittery afterwards, tossing and turning and buzzing away in bed, and thinking to myself, "so this is what it must feel like to be on fucking crack".

There was a literally a buzzing in my head. Like bees. Bees in my head. Smoked-up cracked-up bees in my head.

So I didn't sleep at all, and I went to meet Avis and co at around 6.30pm.

Without going into too much details, because it's tiresome, there were alot of people with us there. We were with a huge ass group, and drinking alot, and playing drinking games at the Sentosa carpark before going in. To be honest, this year's sets weren't super fabulous. The only one truly worth the money and time was Above & Beyond. They were pretty good. Not incredibly excellent, but I had a good time.

Because I hadn't slept at all the night before, I started feeling incredibly weird and exhausted and stoned out at around 2am. We were in the Mambo Jambo arena, which didn't really help either. Crappy music and you want me to waste more energy shaking my booty? Well, I'll try, but if my booty doesn't wanna cooperate you can't blame me, you gotta blame the moooozik.

The bunch of us headed back to the car around 2.15am, they all drank but I sat in the car and just rested. Jansen came in to chill too so we just hung out abit til Sasha's gig started at 3am.. And I actually felt rested and ready to party again! WOOT! Sasha was extremely mediocre, really.. it was like, "well, I guess I'll dance since I'm already here, and the car's too far away to walk back to."

We ended up leaving Zoukout at about 7am. The initial group of about 20 people that we were drinking with got whittled down to just the 4 of us (or 5, if you count Jansen who'd been sleeping in the car since about 4am) at Above & Beyond: Avis, Roy, Weiliang, and myself. I swear that I've got greatly developed thigh muscles by now, dancing for so many hours. Since Above & Beyond was the only thing I felt justified paying $38 for, I concluded that the rest of the money was for a good time drinking, meeting new fabulous people, hanging out with fabulous friends, and dancing - which I counted as exercise to work off all that alcohol I'd drunk earlier and chips and hot dogs that I'd eaten.

Yeah, Avis and Jansen had gone to Ikea beforehand to buy 20 hotdogs so that none of us would go hungry. There were leftovers. And so before we left, we were hungry, and we just ate the sausages and threw the buns into the drain.

I took not a single photo with the camera I bought. Too lazy. The only photo I was supposed to be in was the one Damian took using Jansen's Blackberry of Jansen and me.. but I wasn't in the photo because Jansen was too tall (or as Damian said, I was too short.. sniff).

This is the only photo of me that someone else took.. and I didn't even know it was being taken lol. (And the photo wasn't even of me.. I just happened to saunter into the background with Avis)

And another one of my back..

Oh, by the way, I have another exam in 13 hours. And I haven't started studying. God I cannot wait for all this to be over. One more semester next year and I will be DONE with all this.. I really can't wait. I can taste the freeeeeeeeeedom!